On the outside, we appear to be one person. In reality we are two people with two lives, living in the same body. I don’t mean that each of us has a multiple personality disorder, though often it may feel that way. I’m referring to the “work you” and the “home you”. How do you keep one from bleeding into the other?
It’s easy to envy the mother who stays at home with her children. She gets to focus on one area, her home and family. That isn’t the life we’ve chosen for ourselves, and we would never want to abandon our careers and dreams. But at the end of the business day we become another person.
We have families we return home to, or friends we wish to spend time with. We help our children with their studies, or even argue with our spouses. How often do we bring our workplace frustrations home with us? Furthermore, how often do the stresses from our personal lives return to work with us the following day?
In order to be successful in both of your lives, you have to keep them separate. But how do you do that?
Take a time-out
When you’re at home…focus on home. Be in the here and now. Tuck those spreadsheets or work related items away. Leave them in the car if you must. Out of sight, out of mind. And when you get the urge to talk about work, take note, and talk about something else instead.
Address problems at their source
When you experience problems at home, or even at work, address them. Don’t drag them from one place to another. If that means sitting down for a meeting with your spouse, or even a team member, discuss the issue where it originated.
Set a schedule
The worst thing to do is to leave your work schedule opened ended. Set clear rules that you won’t take phone calls or return emails after a certain hour. Instead follow up on them first thing the next business day. Apply the same rules for personal communications. With the exception of emergencies, avoid calls and texts from home during work hours.
There is a time for work, and there is a time for home. Understand where the boundaries lie. It’s not an easy feat, and professionals struggle with it every day. It was focus, and striving for your goals that got you to where you are today. So, make this a new goal: success in your career and success in your personal life, separately.
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